From the land of the poisoned

Oh man, have I been sick for the past couple days. The only thing I can trace it back to is an eggplant dish that I had for dinner two nights ago, although that seems unfair as far as food poisoning goes.

But having stomach problem brings out an amusing little cultural wrinkle about the Chinese – they LOVE to talk about this stuff. In the US, it would be a little unseemly to outright ask someone if they are experiencing diarrhea (拉肚子), but not here. The minute you nod your head, everyone around you will have an opinion as to what you should do about it and several will whip out medications that YOU MUST TAKE THIS INSTANT.

Trust me – these people know from intestinal distress.

However, no matter what anyone tells you about how effective it is, do not under any circumstances consume the following product:

I will make you vomit.

I will make you vomit.

This was given to me yesterday by a kindly coworker who said that it didn’t taste good, but that it was very effective.

I am not kidding when I tell you that this is the grossest poison I have ever forced down my throat. And I can tell you with a certainty that it tastes bad going down, but it tastes worse coming back up. It’s some kind of plant concentrate mixed with alcohol and, I am fairly certain, extract of evil.

So today I am taking a sick day from work – possibly the only sick day I’ve ever taken on which I was actually sick! So far, the only the only thing that has made me feel any better are saltines and the following over-the-counter elixir:

I will make you happy.

I will make you happy.

It’s kind of like Chinese Hi-C. Delish.

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